Marriage, Family and LIfe by the Seat of Your Pants; Part 4 Balance

Sandra, my wife, is an audiologist. That's a person who knows A LOT about your hearing and how the ear works. It's amazing to me that if a little fluid is not right in your inner ear it can really make your life miserable. You will lose total balance - seriously, falling down, like drunken stupor type stuff if your inner ear doesn't work right. Such a little part of the body makes such a BIG difference.

In family life, balance is REALLY important and that balance is maintained by a whole bunch of little and some not so little things. When you're living life by the seat of your pants, let me tell you, balance is HUGE!

For me the biggest balance was between being fun and being the disciplinarian.

In our family, I like to be the fun one. Hey somebody has got to be!! What I've learned though, is a healthy balance between the two keeps the child safe. Kids WANT boundaries! They are scared, especially when they go through the puberty years and they want to know SOMEONE is driving this thing! They also want to enjoy you and I know you want to enjoy them. So balance is necessary.

There is nothing better than getting on the floor with your kids, romping, laughing, tickling, wrestling - until someone gets hurt which has to happen! If no one gets hurt it wasn't a good game! When the kids were little that was a nightly routine! Loved it!! It still happens now as they are young adults, it's just me that gets hurt now!

The balance comes in when the kids start to misunderstand your fun. They will quickly think you're one of their buds and forget that you are to be respected and honored too. That's the balance. The honor and respect must remain while you're having fun. You do that by holding your lines on principles and confronting immediately and firmly when lines have been crossed.

I remember standing in the foyer of our church talking to a father of a 7 year old boy. We were having a good chat when from out of our periphery this little ninja comes soaring in and throws a flying kick to his dad's hip. I mean this kid let him have it. I expected Newton's Laws of Motion to take effect - with every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - and watch this little Jackie Chan get flung against the nearest wall. My mouth hung open as the dad regained his balance and with a proud pat on Jackie's head said, "Wow, nice kick son!" Huh? wha...? This dad wanted to be the fun playful dad and you could see they had some good times together as the son felt the freedom to display. What he did not have was the respect to control his behavior in an inappropriate time and place. There was no balance. Kids don't understand boundaries, they need to be taught. Without them they will throw themselves head or feet first into some really unhealthy directions.

The kids will learn a great lesson about authority and about God with this balance. God is our loving, wonderful Father who is with us and for us always. He is also the holy God who cannot be taken lightly. This balance strengthens both of those important sides of our relationship. The child will learn self control and the discernment when and where they can be free with some behaviors and when the time and place is inappropriate. They realize that the fun isn't bad but the context is everything!

I hope you'll all have wonderful fun with your kids and teach them the balance necessary for them to be fun adults too.

In His grip,

Greg