Aren't 15 year old daughters and fathers supposed to be like oil and water? Aren't dads of 15 year old girls supposed to be hopelessly out of it and completely unable to relate to anything in the little diva's life? I mean all dads of 15 year old girls wear socks with their flip flops, tuck in their shirts with the tail hanging out of the fly and do the comb over their bald heads....don't they? Aren't 15 year old daughters supposed to be helplessly concerned with their bangs, hopelessly emotional about the way "that girl looked at me" and haplessly concerned about fitting in with all of the other little freaked out chicks?
That's what "they" say but I just had the most wonderful day with my 15 year old. She's bright. She's fun. She's beautiful. She loves me. She didn't always love me. When she was born, her first six months of life were spent doing what babies do AND wailing bloody murder every time I came near. Something inside her little infant psyche was totally freaked by the sight of me. That didn't last long though, thankfully. She's been daddies girl ever since. It does help that I don't wear socks with my flip flops too.
Anyway, she got some birthday money this year and I told her I would be willing to take her shopping. That was a risky offer because what the heck do I know about SubUrban Outriggers and Abbott and Costello and Fitch and leggings and all that stuff? But I wanted to be with her and to my surprise she said yes and even appeared to be mildly excited about it too.
She had the money, always a plus! We had the plan and it was a gorgeous day. We looked at summer dresses and shorts outfits, fun t-shirts and jumpers. We looked at tank tops (very modest ones!!), skirts and high waisted belts. She actually tried on some of the things that I picked out AND LIKED THEM!!! I AM THE MAN!! One of my favorite comments of the day was, "Dad, I don't care what anyone thinks about what I wear. I just want to wear what I like and have fun!!" I loved that.
The most fun was the dressing room. I waited outside the door with an arm full of clothes, waiting and watching as other 15's preened in front of the mirrors hoping they were choosing the things that would make them lovable. I had to shift into my James Bond dad mode because the clerk said no more than 6 items in the room and I had enough tops and bottoms for three rooms easy! But, then she'd slide open the door and stand there with that look. It's easy to see it. It's that hopeful look, that slightly nervous look that says, "Daddy, do you like this? Do you think I'm pretty?" And that translates to, "Daddy, do you approve of me? Do you love me?" With each change of outfit I got more and more captured by the connection between us. I told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. I could have shopped all day.
It was obviously clear, she didn't care what anybody else thought about what she was wearing but she cared about what I thought. If I cared no one else mattered.
God talked to me about that shopping day this morning. He said to my heart as I prayed, "Son, do you care about what I think so much so that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks?" It was a tough question. I wanted to say yes but I admit that sometimes what people think often carries more weight than what my heavenly Father thinks. If my daughter had treated me that way, I would have been devastated. I realized that if I care what the Father thinks more than anything else, then I won't care what others think. I won't bother with reputation or status, impressions or conformity. I'll just be free to enjoy life because after all, my Father thinks I am amazing. How incredible is that? The Creator of the galaxies thinks I'm amazing. He should, He made me.
I learned a little about shopping that Saturday. I learned about accessorizing and mixing colors and what should NEVER be worn in public EVER! I learned that 15 year olds really do care about what their dads think. I learned that if I care about what my heavenly Father thinks, then nothing else matters.
I think I'd like to go shopping again this weekend and this time I'm buying.
In His grip,
Greg
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2 comments:
Dear Pastor Greg,
I am in the midst of getting ready for school. Actually I am running a little late...as usual. And I stopped to read your blog this morning. It brought tears to my eyes. The last two nights studying at your house have been wonderful. I told Laura for a quick moment what a wonderful family she has. There was a moment when you came in to say hello to her, and I had to look away, because it again brought a few tears to my eyes.
I heard about your shopping extravaganza Sunday night from Laura and Sandra, and it totally made me smile. I see what an amazing relationship your girls and you have.
It brings to mind my dad. Who I know loves me, but has not really ever tried to ask about my life. He hasn't gone shopping with me and commented on my choices, and if I try to talk about other things in my life, some how or another the subject kind of changes. Last week we had a great catch up conversation, but in the midst of it he asked, "just makin sure, I've got to ask...you sure you want to go through with this??" He was referring to getting married!! For a split moment I was totally upset. For 24 years my dad has repeatedly avoided the subject of boys. "I don't want to know...I don't want to know," were always over powered by my "Dad let me tell you about this person I met." And now, 5 months before getting married, he wanted to make sure...lol, but I realized after reading this blog, that it is my father's way of saying, I love you. And I want to make sure you are happy.
In spite of all the up and downs in my relationship with my father, at least once a year, I will get a letter. Maybe on a birthday or something, and he will write the most incredible words to me saying he loves me and that I will always be his little girl. I keep all of those and when I read them again, I cry. That's what this blog did for me. I was reminded of how amazing a father's love is and how amazing my Heavenly Father's love is!!
Thank you Pastor Greg, for reminding me that the Lord wants me to care this way about Him. To want His opinion above all else. I hate to say it, but I some how forget that Jesus loves me at times. I get wrapped up in my own stuff and I know Jesus loves me, but I don't let myself feel Him love me.
Thanks again.
Erika
Dads are so important to their daughters. Even when the daughters are grown up and have children of their own. Just keep loving your daughters and enjoying them. I really miss my dad.
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